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Die Twinkie!

Need to take out your aggressions on something? Try murdering a twinkie!

we did it!!!

President Obama - I like the sound of that...

And after an election night free from speculation of missing absentee ballots, voter fraud, hanging chads, florida, recounts, or basically any drama at all - Americans spoke, and their voices shouted CHANGE! Last night was historic and life-changing; today is the dawning of a new era. I'm so happy to be alive right now!

on the eve of the election...

take your mind off all the political banter and check out some OTHER things!


Stereogum has put together their list of favorite bands from last week's CMJ Music Festival in New York. Pretty good list to start from if you're looking for some new, exciting and incredibly trendy music. Note the emergence of bands with the word Crystal in them. Check out the list here.

I recently discovered music legend David Byrne's website and online journal - which is amazing. Many of his posts are of obscure, artistic findings at cities that he is visiting. Though I was a little upset he didn't give more thought to his recent trip to Austin for ACL.

Pink's Pizza is just about to be open at W. Gray & Montrose (710 W. Gray) and oh god is it delicious. Seriously good. Check out their stellar menu.

Lucky for us, one of the most hilarious shows that sadly was cancelled - Campus Ladies - can be seen in its entirety on the Oxygen website (yes, I once watched a TV show on Oxygen - but seriously if you haven't seen this then you must - it's unbelievably funny). A relatively unknown Jonah Hill plays a lead role. Check it out.

THIS is AWESOME.

New York Magazine has put together their list of the top 10 election coverage gimmicks used by the major networks. Which one will you be watching?

My friend Jenny is hosting a series of upcoming parties centered around the Miracle Berry. It's this crazy fruit that after eating it, your tastebuds are altered and sour foods and drinks taste surprisingly sweet - and sweet things taste REALLY sweet. I went to one a few months ago, and it really does work!

palin pranked

Someone posted this awesome link on Facebook - looks like Palin needs better call screeners.

halloween!

Great times were had by all at Cole and Scott's house in Austin last night - kegs, deadly hunch punch (which I got a little carried away with), flip cup, classic scary movies playing on a big screen, dancing - all with the beautiful backdrop of lake austin. Here's a few photos - to see them all click here.

I don't normally like old people, but...

I think this old man is great. I wish more old people were like him.

German minx

Thanks to Nik for sending me this lovely story about a woman who was just doing what she thought was right, and God bless her for it.

ok everyone... time to sell our souls!

So this happened...

if you could murder anyone and get away with it...

I would choose Jimmy Buffett.

MTV needs a new name now

LONG gone are the days of MTV actually playing music videos. And now, the network's last program that actually aired new music videos or basically anything related to music at all, is coming to a close. That's right, TRL will air its finale on November 18th.

And just to make sure it is dead and buried, they've invited a whole host of unbelievably shitty performers to be a part of it. Read about it here.

Just for your pleasure I've compiled some of my favorite music videos throughout the years - enjoy...


Dire Straits "Money for Nothing"


Bone Thugs 'n Harmony "Crossroads"


The Chemical Brothers "Believe"



Dio "Holy Diver"



Notorious B.I.G. "Sky's the Limit"



The Pharcyde "Drop"



The White Stripes "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground"



'Ol Dirty Bastard "Baby I Got Your Money"



The Talking Heads "Once in a Lifetime"

Van Damme is alive!

Yes, you heard that right - Jean-Claude "The Muscles from Brussels" Van Damme is alive and in has a new movie coming out. And not just another shitty action movie, but one that kind of looks good - a biopic of sorts. Check it out:

wow.

I'm assuming your eyes were drawn to the focal point of this picture first, as well...

I mean I seriously couldn't see anything but breasts at first.  

Then I thought that it's sad that Kim Kardashian is still wearing the outfits that she wore on Dancing With the Stars. She must sit at home every Monday night with a box of kleenex and a handful of Xanex, staring at the television waiting for Brooke Burke or Susan Lucci to break a bone so that then they could feel the pain that she's going through because there's already one Paris Hilton in the world and America doesn't need another famous for no reason rich girl clogging up their television sets.

That's when I realized it wasn't Kim Kardashian at all, but some crazy woman named Katie Price. She's British. And that explains everything.

Some exciting shizz

- Emmy-award winning and instant classic show 30 Rock is starting its 3rd season this Thursday! If you can't wait that long, NBC has a preview (practically the entire episode) on their website. In case you weren't already convinced, Tina Fey is a genius. Watch the new episode here.

- One of my favorite books of all time, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, is being turned into a movie. Director Gus Van Sant (To Die For, Good Will Hunting, Psycho, Paranoid Park) is heading up the production on the film. Read more about it here.

- Dr. Pepper made some kind of bet with the United States that they would give every American a free Dr. Pepper if Guns 'n Roses releases their new album before 2009. Well, they've done it - and Dr. Pepper is keeping their side of the bet. Find out about your free Dr. Pepper here.

- One hit wonder band MGMT is continuing to hit it big with their only song, "Time to Pretend," as there are an endless amount of often hilarious remixes to it. Check them out here.

- In what can only be described as AMAZING, Crispin Glover has signed on to play a part in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (also starring Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway and of course, Helena Bonham Carter). You may know Crispin Glover from such classics as Back to the Future, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Nurse Betty, Wild at Heart, and oh so many more mostly B-movies. Read more about it here.

- Evidently, tomorrow night Barack Obama's campaign has bought a 1/2 hour on every major television network and he will be addressing the nation. Sheesh, how the hell much did that cost! How many voters could possibly be swayed at this point?

 - I've been looking for a specific pair of Blueblocker brand sunglasses for the past few days, to complete my Walter Sobchak Halloween costume, but I seriously can't find them. If anyone owns these, has seen them somewhere or knows where to buy them at, LET ME KNOW!

Out on DVD today

Zombie Strippers - Jenna Jameson & Robert Englund. Need I say more? Amazing.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers: Runnin's Down a Dream - While I may not have time for a four-hour long film about Tom Petty, you may. In fact, I don't really even care for this band. Enjoy!

The Flintstones: The Complete Series - A massive, 24-disc box set that includes every episode EVER.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: 20th Anniversary Edition - An old favorite, and includes some of the best episodes.

Animal House: 30th Anniversary Edition - Jeez, 30 years? I guess that's right... I mean, I'm not even 30 yet

Billy The Kid- A documentary about a 15-year old who loves KISS, karate and is a little bit different from his classmates in small-town Maine. (He was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome after the movie was completed.)

Journey to the Center of the Earth - Yes, this is that crap starring Brendan Fraser that was filmed in 3-D. Sadly, I think I know a few people who will buy this.

The L Word: 5th Season - Mmm lesbians...

Hell Ride - A relatively lame, Quentin Tarantino-produced, Grindhouse-esque, biker film starring Michael Madsen & Eric Balfour.

Dark Shadows: The Beginning, Vol. 6 - Ah old soap opera vampire tales. I grew up watching this shit.

the bro code

One of the best tv comedies right now has got to be How I Met Your Mother. It has a great cast, even better writers, and often leaves you hanging at the end of episodes - forcing you to quickly look through your scheduled DVR recordings to make sure that next week's show will be saved.

The character that you most love to hate, Barney Stinson, is played by the one and only (and brilliant) Neil Patrick Harris. As part of his perpetual partyer, womanizer and all-around sleezebag persona - he also claims to have developed "the bro code."

Just see for yourself...classico...

i've always loved her, but...

Seriously, she's my favorite person on the planet. Amy Poehler absolutely killed it this past weekend on SNL. Take a look:

What's rolling around in my brain..

1. Last week was one of "those" weeks where I went out every night. and spent a LOT of money. oops.
2. 98% of the time I'm disgusted by the programming that MTV presents its viewers.... except for this crazy parody of The Hills that I am watching right now. Literally rolling on the floor. Seriously, at least MTV knows how bullshit this show is, and can make fun of themselves.
3. I have a new obsession with Belgian White beers.
4. I'm so happy to sleep in a bed tonight... even though it's not mine.
5. I also have an obsession with my new Raybans.
6. Seriously looking forward to election night - both to see what kind of drama will happen, and also just to have this over already.
7. Amy Poehler's Sarah Palin Rap last night on SNL was one of the funnies things ever.
8. My early 90's rock kick is in full effect right now - The Jesus & Mary Chain, My Bloody Valentine, Built to Spill, Dinosaur Jr., and Ride are all in my CD player right now.
9. Even though the movie The Happening was pretty stupid, it was also pretty disturbing.
10. Poor Mr. Nuts is forced to be holed up in my parents guest room bathroom at all times. I think he'll need therapy after this.
11. It's probably time to start looking for a new job.
12. The AWESOME Girl Talk show last Saturday. Yes, I think we were the oldest people there.

iMix

I recently discovered how to create an iMix using iTunes - and have since published my first of what I can imagine will be many different mixes. So I present to you LeftyJonno's Summer Sounds - (leftyjonno is my new online name, i've decided).

I'm back...sorta

I haven't written a post in quite a while, which is pretty sad considering it doesn't take very long to do. However, I have a pretty valid excuse - back surgery. Yes, it is what it sounds like.

For the past few years I've had on-again off-again back pains, that I had attributed to chronic sciatica - as it runs in the family. I had seen a couple different chiropractors, both whom had their own theories as to why my lower back / right leg was hurting so much. Neither really helped very much. It wasn't until around this time last summer when I was visiting my buddies in Greenville, SC and I slept on a crazy marshmallow couch that the pain really began getting out of control. I decided to go see an orthopedic surgeon and get some information on ways that I can alleviate the pain. After a series of x-rays and MRI's I discovered that I had three (well, 2 and a half) herniated discs. These discs were putting pressure on my spinal cord, causing the severe pain and numbness in my right leg.

The doc gave me some pain meds and told me to go see a pain management specialist to get a series of steriod/neuro-inhibitor shots in my spine. Each shot helped get rid of the pain for probably 2 weeks. Finally, about a month ago, the pain became so debilitating that I couldn't walk for more than a minute without my right leg feeling like it was being cut open by the devil - so, luckily my good friend Keri's dad referred my to a neurosurgeon who specializes in backs. After out first meeting I had the date scheduled for my surgery - he believed my problem was so severe that I would be risking paralysis if action wasn't taken immediately.

I've never really had any surgery done before - I guess if you count having your wisdom teeth taken out then yes, but that was like a 30 minute procedure and they did it at the dentist's office. Needless to say, I was a little (a lot) freaked out when the doc told me that I would have to be in the hospital for three days, that the procedure would take around 4 hours, and that I would have 8 screws and four rods in my spine when it was all done with. Basically - this is what they put into my spine:

So now here I am, about 2 weeks since my operation - and I'm actually doing pretty well. Amazingly, my back/leg pain has subsided - and I'm left with some residual numbness (which is normal) and outer pain from the incisions. I'm left with two scars - one that's about 12 inches long and goes directly down the middle of my back - the other is on the right side of my back and is about 6 inches long. I'm stuck wearing a back brace for the next three months and, obviously, my activities are quite limited during that time. But, the fact that the pain that I've had for so long isn't there anymore, is incredible.

Oh, and on a sidenote - I've quit smoking, have started a pretty rigorous diet, and suddenly my head feels a lot clearer than it has in a while.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me out over the past few weeks - especially my parents and my brother - they've been so great to take care of me. And everyone who has sent me good wishes, it means a lot - I'll be up and running in no time!

useless

movies are the bane of my existence. take for example the movie i'm watching right now.

blah blah blah treasure map blah blah find the treasure blah blah nicolas cage is screaming blah blah blah treasure!

dinner time!

I'm not much of a cook - in fact I'm pretty sure that the only thing I really, truly know how to create is ramen. Other than that, anything I try to create from a recipe in a cookbook always turns out strangely unlike what I think it probably should be. Nevertheless, this weekend is Easter - and while the meaning of the holiday holds no religious bearing upon my soul - I find it's a time when family can get together and enjoy some delicious food.

My brother will be home from college and as a family we'll enjoy going out to some nice restaurants, and ultimately capping the weekend off with a nice Easter Sunday dinner at home. I've decided this year that I will take some initiative and put together a recipe that I can help cook and we can (hopefully) enjoy. I've done a little research and will be concocting some grilled lamb chops with tzaziki, a summer salad and minted couscous.

Meat & Marinade

Ingredients
3 medium cloves garlic, minced
3 tbsps fresh rosemary, chopped
1/3 cup chopped parsely
2 tbsps dijon mustard
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 tsp pepper
2 racks of lamb, each cut into 6 chops
1 lemon, squeezed for juice
course sea salt

Directions
1. To prepare lamb combine garlic, parsley, dijon mustard, olive oil and pepper together in medium mixing bowl and smear on chops. Cover and let marinade for at least an hour.
2. Just before grilling, season lamb generously with course sea salt. Grill on high heat, 2-3 minutes on each side, including fat side. Squeeze lemon juice over chops while cooking. Remove from heat and let rest.

Summer Salad

Ingredients
2 medium zucchini, cut lengthwise into 1/4 inch strips
1 bunch asparagus, stringy ends peeled
1/2 pt grape tomatoes, halved
1/2 red onion, sliced very thin and soaked in cold water.
salt
olive oil

Directions
1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cut asparagus into 1 1/2 inch lengths.
2. Add asparagus to boiling water, cook until spears are crisp, about a minute. Add zucchini and cook for only one minute.
3. Strain asparagus and zucchini; plunge immediately into ice water or rinse under cold running water.
4. Transfer to medium mixing bowl; add tomatoes, sliced red onion, olive oil and salt to taste. Set aside.


Minted Couscous

Ingredients
1 cup couscous
1 cup water
2 tbsps olive oil
1/4 cup chopped mint
3 tbsps flaked almonds, toasted
juice and zest of half a lemon
salt and papper to taste

Direction
1. Bring water to a boil. Pour over couscous; cover and let stand 5 minutes
2. Fluff with a fork and stir in mint, almonds, lemon juice, zest, olive oil, salt and pepper to taste.


Tzaziki

Ingredients
2 cups greek or whole milk yogurt, drained
1/2 medium english cucumber, peeled and grated
pinch of salt
1 small clove garlic, finely minced
handful chopped fresh mint
coarse salt and freshly cracked black pepper, to taste

Direction
1. Hang yogurt in sieve or fine mesh strainer over medium bowl. Let stand for at least one hour, letting excess liquid drain away.
2. Very lightly salt grated cucumber and let hang in same manner.
3. Combine thickened yogurt, cucumber, garlic and mint in a medium bowl. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

And there you have it! Here's what it *should* look like...

preamble ramble

I woke up today feeling good - like in a good mood. I actually sang in the shower. It's sort of a rarity these days, mostly related to a lack of interest in my current job. And by lack of interest I mean I want to get the fuck out of here ASAP. But this post won't be a rant about what exactly it is about my job I hate so much. That won't get me anywhere.

Instead, I'm going to use the time that I should be getting shit done at work to put down a short top 10 of those things that are currently giving me hope, or that I'm looking forward to, or simply make me smile. Let's begin.

1. The Rockets. We're on a 22-game winning streak. Best in the West. I have kickass seats to the game tonight against the Celtics. Awesome.
2. Tornados. Now I know that sounds weird - but I like them. I doubt I would like having one destroy my house, but they bring excitement into my life.
3. Sandwiches. I love sandwiches - probably all types. I had a roast beef and horseradish one at Brown Bag Deli today for lunch. It was delicious.
4. The prospect of getting a new car. It might be happening. Soon.
5. St. Patty's Day. Yes, it was yesterday but for me St. Patty's Day lasts an entire week. I still have green on today. And I will tomorrow.
6. My new puppy. I think he was birthed by the Devil, but I still love him. He's really cute.
7. Radar Detector Deterrent Detector Deterrent Detector Detector Deterrent...Detector............Deterrents. So much technology.
8. Television. In general - because to name off my shows this season would take a while. Here's a few. LOST. The Riches. John Adams. The Soup. Well, actually maybe that's it.
9. The Fam. Cause they're always there for me and don't ask questions.
10. Obama. An embodiment of the direction I want for our country.

In closing, I submit to you some of my favorite mc, Slug

new ink

Felt spontaneous this week and went to get some new ink at Scorpion. Check it:



Obviously played off the Coca-Cola logo, but designed this myself. I'm digging it.
Will post more pictures when I actually have time to use a real camera instead of a crappy phone one.

i've got love for the french

mostly within non-mainstream music and the european club scene, the french have emereged as leaders of a new electronica revolution. paris seems to be producing some of the most innovative and experimental artists in the world. i've compiled a brief introduction to the french invasion below, via youtube of course...

DJ Mehdi feat. Chromeo "I am Somebody"


Justice "DVNO"


TTC "Travellier"


Kavinsky "Testarossa Autodrive"


Mr. Oizo "Flat Beat"

what's going on here?

sure, fashion can be strange or exciting or different or inspring or any other adjective you can think of... but i came across these photos from some recent Galliano runway show and, dear god please don't tell me this is the future of women's clothing...













unless of course this is a tribute to Dr. Seuss's The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins in which case, bravo.

ghostland deliciousness, please? maybe not

perhaps my favorite series of shows in a while has been the 6 or 7 ghostland observatory performances i've stumbled upon in select cities around the south. this band puts on a damn good show - i mean spectacular.

so for all the hype over the past year or so, it's no surprise that their follow-up to the first two amazing albums Delete.Delete.I.Eat.Meat. and Paparrazzi Lightning would probably not live up to expectations. and in fact the assumption were true. this third album, Robotique Majestique, is lacking, well, anything original.

recently, Pitchfork called Aaron Behrens - Ghostland's pigtailed and besunglassed lead singer - "the latest in a long line of supplicants to Freddie Mercury's throne" - a jab at Behren's high-pitched wails and, well, lack of anything else. as a fan of Ghostland's work, when i first listened to Robotique Majestique i could tell that they were really, really trying. like really hard. too hard. much of the album - nearly a third in fact - are awkwardly-composed instrumentals that seem to try and emulate the reinvention of daft punk, the 2006/2007 french electronica movement, and conjure up all things Ed Banger (Justice, DJ Mehdi, SebastiAn, DSL, etc.). all innovative and interesting - last year. previous albums have been lyrically focused - incorporating the necessary dance beats and soul-blazing rhythms that make them a good listen and a great show. Robotique just didn't hit the mark. honestly, the track Club Soda on Ghostland's new album sounds almost exactly like Busy P's "Rainbow Man." come on - not only did Busy P do that first - but he's also Daft Punk's manager, garnering slightly more credibility that a disco-pop band out of Austin.

i guess every band needs a "sophmore slump" album of sorts. still, i'll go see them live any chance i get.

Post primary reaction / cough drop hell

Hillary Clinton is a waste of space.

I was elected as a delegate to the senatorial district something or other convention on march 29th

It could be 80 degrees or snowing outside for all I know because I've been holed up in a conference room without windows all day.

It's probably not good to eat 47 cough drops in one day.

Get ready, Texas

Throughout the past six months or so I have been feeling a deep passion towards politics, as I'm sure much of the country has as well. Living in Texas we don't usually hear the words "swing state" or "important" in reference to our nationwide political sway. We are a red state. We've always been a red state, and for the most part will always be a red state -- but I see a little purple creeping in.

The primaries -- an oft-forgotten and overlooked pre-election election that only those truly committed politicos actually exercise their voting rights for. I personally had never voted in a primary until this year, and I imagine that 80-90% of Texans are in my same position. And on top of that I don't think I had even heard the word caucus since my U.S. Government class my senior year in high school - and even then it meant nothing to me.

As Texans we do most things differently and I would propose BETTER. Now don't start blaming all Texans for George W. or big oil or mexicans - there are too many of us to make a generalization. We're an incredibly diverse populous - but we all have one thing in common - WE LOVE TEXAS.

However, one thing we do NOT do a good job of is the primary. I'm pretty positive that we haven't changed our rules and guidelines on voting since the Alamo. It's an incredible confusing and intricate process that basically takes someone of great patience and intelligence to explain, let along understand.

Let's break it down real quick.... and by quick i mean welcome to confusion....

The Texas Democratic Party sends 228 total delegates to the Democratic National Convention. Of those delegates, 193 are pledged and 35 are unpledged (superdelegates). The Party uses a combination of two processes to select delegates and determine how they will be allocated to each presidential candidate. The Party uses the results of the primary process to determine how 126 of its 193 pledged delegates will be allocated to each candidate. The Party uses the caucus process to select its delegates and also to determine how many of the remaining 67 pledged delegates will be allocated to each candidate. Many states require that candidates receive at least 15% of the total votes to receive delegates. The Texas Democratic Party only applies this requirement to the primary process and the final step of the caucus process since those are the only two occasions in which the Party allocates delegates to candidates.

Recap: Welcome to the "Texas 2-Step" - First you vote in the primary and then you caucus. However, no one has any idea what a caucus means let alone why you would need to do it. Let's continue...

The Texas Presidential Primary is an open primary - which permits participants to vote for candidates in any one party, regardless of voters' party affiliations.

Recap: A common misconception is that in Texas you affiliate yourself with a specific party when you register to vote. False. You become affiliated with a party when you vote in a primary. You are then affiliated with this party for 2 years - meaning that you must vote within that party during subsequent primaries in that 2 year period. However, you can still vote outside your party during a general election - such as the election in November.

The Primary (for 2008) takes place on March 4th. Polling places are open from 7am - 7pm. Once the last person in line at 7pm has voted in the primary, the caucus (or precinct convention) begins - normally around 7:15pm. Participation is open to anyone who voted in the primary. You sign in and provide proof that you in fact voted in the primary by signing an affidavit. Then you vote for the candidate of your choice.

Recap: You're basically voting twice. This may seem like a huge inconvenience and you may miss the beginning of American Idol, but this is the way our system works. Now if that's not strange enough, get ready for the confusion!!

At each caucus (there are 8,247 total in Texas), participants choose precinct delegates that will go to the county and state district conventions. The Party allocates one precinct delegate to each precinct for every 15 votes that were case in the previous election - in this case it's the 2006 gubernatorial election starring Chris Bell (he didn't win).

Recap: During the caucus you are picking some people to attend another election-type thing at the end of the month. However, you're not picking people based on this year's election - you're picking people based on an election that happened 2 YEARS AGO - where there probably wasn't a very high voter turnout. So, if you're living in a small town in Texas and you've gotten every single person to come out and vote because you feel so passionate about it - you're only going to be able to have as much say in the county and state conventions as your peers had initiative to come out and vote in the last election - which probably wasn't very much.


OK - well that was my attempt at making our crazy election process a little easier to understand. I'm looking forward to tonights results after I caucus! Go Obama!

here's to you, internet!

Yes, the time has come.

I'm giving up and starting a blog.

While I haven't actually decided the theme, concept or purpose of my pontifications, it's all happening nevertheless. Initially I would find great pleasure in crafting my blog around my love of music. But I'm easily bored and often lack the stamina to keep up with the daily influx of the new post-punk or brit-rock or underground hip-hop phenomenon who was just discovered in some dingy after hours nightclub in LA or Paris or Berlin. Plus, I have a job.

Granted, I'm at my job right now penning the first entry of my new online journal - completely unrelated to the work that I actually get paid to do.

So before I go back to slaving away in the underpaid, high-stress, corporate rat race jungle be on the lookout for this blog to capture my prowess of cultural commentary, essential mind-altering youtube discoveries, and basic tomfoolery.

I leave you with my favorite piece of modern cinematic genius ever produced.